Why flattery is bad

The reason flattery gets a bad rap is because some people use it as a way to manipulate others. However, it's not hard to see through insincere flattery, and then it becomes a negative. I don't think flattery is wrong, especially if the person you are flattering deserves it. I think the only time flattery is wrong is if you mean if falsely or if you are only using it for your own benefit.

Everyone likes to be flattered once and awhile. We like to know that there is something about us that someone else admires whether it's a personality trait or our appearance.

By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our Terms of Use. Google Search. Post Your Opinion. Create New Poll. Sign In Sign Up. Add a New Topic. Is flattery wrong? Jesu , Facebook. Flattery is what's wrong with the world Flattery builds children up with false ideas about themselves. Posted by: joem Report Post.

Like Reply Challenge. Maximum words. Posted by: m. I don't see why Flattery is good for both parties, As long as you're not trying to manipulate others. Report Post. Like Reply. Posted by: Adiegirl Report Post. Posted by: staci Report Post. Then they were given one of two standard evaluations, one flattering and the other neutral, and asked for their reactions. The results clearly supported the cognitive consistency theory. Those with high self esteem tended to have more favourable impressions of a flattering evaluator than a neutral one.

On the other hand, subjects with low self esteem liked the neutral evaluator better than the flattering one, and the flattery backfired.

This suggests that flattery only makes the flattered person like the flatterer more when it confirms their existing self-image. Those with lower opinions of themselves are not just more impervious to flattery, they react negatively by disapproving of the person who flattered them. But encouragement, on the other hand, builds real trust by going straight to the heart. When praise is well deserved and can be clearly linked to evidence, observations and data, the positive feedback helps people thrive and improve at work.

As long as you do it well people will learn from it. When carried out with honesty and integrity, genuine encouragement can even make negative events far more palatable, easier to bear with good cheer and positivity.

Encouragement orientates stance, and the practical sense of fostering others to have the courage to do more of what works, or simply to live well. It helps others realise more of their potential. Like many good things, you have to work a bit harder at encouragement than you do at mere flattery, which is shallow and less meaningful so easier to dream up and deliver.

Encouragement is more creative but also more realistic. And it proves without any doubt that the encourager has real interest in the other person. They really do care. When a workforce is motivated through praise and encouragement, employee churn reduces. Productivity increases. And being an encouraging person comes with positive benefits of its own, as reported here. In the words of the article:.

It is the process of building each other up, coming alongside another, strengthening the weak and sick and consoling the troubled. But some people engage in excessive or insincere praise and, if those being praised are not sensitive enough, they could, in that mood, do things that normally they would not have done. This is actually the goal of flatterers. For those who do not do good and expect to be praised by others, they are looking for those who will lie to them about themselves.

Unfortunately, some people will deceive them. They need to change and begin to sow the seed of good deeds. But my focus is on people who are doing good things but some people want to take advantage of them by showering on them exaggerated praise or praising them with insincere motives.

Once people know you love flattery, they will come to you and give you excessive praise or praise you with an ulterior motive. For instance, if you love flattery, people will come to you with well-rehearsed praise, telling you good things about yourself, praising you to high heaven to make you have a swelled head. After they have showered excessive praise on you and you receive it, they have got you in a mood that they will now present their original request or come out with their real intention.

In other words, the flattery prepares the ground for them to achieve their selfish goal. Therefore, when people come to you excessively showering praises on you, just watch out; it is most likely a prelude to something immediately after or soon. They have a request they want to make and want to manipulate you to achieve their aim. We see this pattern in Matthew , Mark , and Luke The three gospels record the same event.

According to the Matthew account, the Pharisees went and plotted how they might entangle Jesus in His talk. In other words, they wanted to set a trap for Him or a bait to catch Him say something wrong they would use against Him. Their motive against Jesus was evil. Tell us, therefore, what do You think? Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not? They first faltered Jesus.

They were insincere. They only wanted to put Jesus in a mood that He would see them as friends and give them a straightforward answer that He would give His friends. He knew them very well and, therefore, was not deceived by their praise and did not give them an answer based on their praise of Him. How many people have been put in trouble by supposed friends who flattered them to get information from them and used it against them?

But Jesus was not a victim in this case as recorded in Mathew, Mark, and Luke. Show Me the tax money. Verse 22 says when they had heard these words, they marveled, and left Him and went their way. Their evil purpose was defeated.